Hi Rachel,

This, THIS!!! Now this is something I’m dealing with right now at the age of 42… grey hair, hair thinning, weight gain, muscle loss, wrinkles, per-menopause, it’s a lot!  And aging is more than just biological, it’s cultural. Here in the United States, we live in a culture that values youth, which is only one small part of life. To accept growing older… no, we are going to call this “focusing on loving where you are and the next chapter of life” you’ll need to change your connection to this value that you’ve been led to believe is important. It won’t happen overnight, but you can start with a mindset change and add in rituals that support who and where you are now! Let’s get into it:

Mirroring & positive self talk - Stand or sit in front of a mirror, and talk to yourself with love and care. Tell yourself what you love and like, compliment yourself. Talk about those grey hairs and how they are a mark of wisdom and strength, those wrinkles are beautiful laugh lines, etc. Over time, you will begin to see and believe the truth that is right in front of you! P.S. having moments where you are puzzled or down with change is also ok, make room for that too and let yourself know it’s ok to feel this way while finding the beauty in it.

Community - Surround yourself around other women your age that are living their life to the fullest. I went to a conference about menopause a few months ago. It was the first time in a long time I saw women my age and older living life to their fullest without excuse. Prior to this, I had been surrounded by 20 and 30 somethings while working in advertising. I couldn’t relate and felt out of place most time. The event was beautiful, exciting, and empowering! I saw myself in many of these women and was quickly reminded that life doesn’t stop unless you want it to. A few takeaways from the event that might help you:

• We are queens, we have seen, saw and done what our youngers sisters haven’t. We are here to teach them and guide them. Own your queenship! This includes loving what comes with aging.

• Show up and show out for the next generation. Show them what it’s like to really live life at this stage and own it! 

• Midlife is an opportunity! You have the resources, funds, permission, curiosity, knowledge, etc. to do what you want and live how you want.

Holding space for yourself (self affirmations) - This is a great practice that I try to do daily. Sit in quiet space and just start to go through moments in your life when you had some amazing things happen, when you did something big, accomplished something. You could focus on your 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s… list out all the incredible experience, moments, wins, and give yourself credit. You will start to think, WOW I did that, and that age or decade was unbelievable. Not only that, but you’ll start to realize life as a whole, not just your youth. You’ll also start to realize that it took one stage of life to get to that next amazing stage. If you find yourself maybe lacking in breathtaking moments/experiences as you go through life, change it! What do you want to do, how do you want life to look, and take steps to make it happen? My mom wanted to travel, and at 72 she did just that! She applied for her passport, and found the perfect travel buddy, her older sister. They invited a few other family members and did 4 or 5 day sin Cancun.

Full body care - Age with grace and be intentional! Care for your body so you can keep living life to your fullest! That should be the priority, then you can focus on maintenance of looks. But I’ll be honest, when you focus on the first, the second comes naturally. Grace and intention means movement/exercise, skincare (moisturizing is huge as we age, and stimulating body tissue), a nutrient rich diet, keeping the mind sharp, removing the things that don’t serve you, making moments for community, friendship, and laughter. These are just a few intentions that I could think of. 

How to look younger - Again full body care is going to be your best move here, that will overall lead to aging with grace and a more youthful appearance. But if there is one beauty tip I can share, well two… it’s moisturize and body/facial massages! This article sums up everything beautifully and includes tips, ingredients, and additional information from a dermatologist.

I hope this helps, we are in this together, my beautiful Queen!

Xoxo, Crystal

I think you still look very young and beautiful!!! I actually love your grey and they can add ash blond highlights into the natural grey that I think would look amazing. And I find using an eye oil at night for my eye lines as well as Vaseline under the eye help a lot . And then during the day I use a snail serum before my makeup primer . I don't see many lines though ❤️